Monday, September 14, 2009

Sending Letters to God

I've figured it out !

Sunday, September 13, 2009


I never seen myself living to atleast highschool graduation. I graduated about four months ago.

I don't see my life much further down the road. We'll see.

Thursday, September 10, 2009


I feel as if I am trapped in this dark confined space curled up, gun in mouth, hand on trigger. Chamber is loaded yet, unaware as to whether or not I am going to be shooting blanks or not. I have felt this way for quite a while.

No one can save me. But he can.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

This deserves a post.

The past few nights while here in Las Cruces. I have been having akward dreams, nothing too pleasurable.

Well my dream last night was weird again, I can't even word its content. BUT as the scenes and plots changed I found myself back in the exact room I fell asleep in. For me this is abnormal because in my dreams people are who they are but they aren't, and the same goes for places and things.

First I felt the weird feeling to wake up although I was deep into my dream. Then a cat then leaped into the open window with dawn's breeze. I must have ingorned it with the first glance and tried to daze back away. But then all of a sudden I had the urge, this fear to leave the room. I screamed for my sister to get up and I headed out the door into the hall way. Then I heard my sister screaming as if she was being tortured. A cry for dear life. I yelled back to her. Finally my aunt came upstairs and assured me there was nothing there. I didn't realize completly until I put on my glasses. I then had to think if the cat was that I saw was clear as it would be with glasses, because then for sure I would be dreaming, but now I cannot remember. And whenever I think about I can't remember if my dreams are ever clear. We stayed up for the remainder of the morning because my sister could not go back to sleep, and here I am about five hours later.

My sister believes differently, but I know this was not just a nightmare.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Numb is what I feel, yet through numbness I always manage to still feel pressure and irritation.

"This year has been so busy!" Many words uttered from family members, including myself. "Its not going to slow down." Through it all I feel a stronger bond than ever before. Could it be the souls of those so dear that left before us ecamping around us? I know it is. I continue this prayer for the Lord to encamp his angels around us, but never did I just think it was my own kin protecting us. I did not think, but I have always known... I am full of faith that our loved ones departures will cause us to grow closer, let us gain a little bit of them in us to continue on. I read a cousin's comment say something about how Goldie and DeeDee brought the spirit in our family, I must admit that is true. We now must continue on with the spirit and build it to be stronger than before. After we find comfort in our Heavenly Father, we can find comfort in one another. Like I mentioned I believe my family's bond has been stronger than before, and this strength we have obtained has come from no other than in God, that is why it cannot be broken. No matter what tricks the enemy pulls from beneath his sleeves. We can be that living testimony of a family powered through love of our father, that is what we will be. I guess this life will continue to be busy, it will not slow down because this family has too much bonding to do and no time or space for weakening.

I will never forget the loving smile you shared with our family, or the love period. You have touched us all, and for that will continue on with you right there along with us. We are praying for you, and please pray for us to stay binded and strong. I love you very much. Please enjoy this eternal life you have finally gained, Live.
Love you Goldie Williams.