To have the reminder creep up on me random moments that I am not of this world is my pain. I do not know the world that I am of. Existence alone can be a lot to swallow. I exist, will I be depressed about it or will I rejoice. I will rejoice only if I exist on the terms of existence I choose. Is being full of joy truly bliss? Or is it just the contentment of current situations. I find joy in knowing God is taking care of me on this world, allowing me to eventually reach the life I would love experience while here. I am not of this world, so I prefer to not let these world experiences affect me. But because I am in this world, that is not always something I can control. I pray for the perfect Heaven, of what experiences I could never fathom and only be more than thankful for. For that is what my being lingers for the most.
It hurts so much when trying to cross the parallel and realize you can't just yet.